Dark

I know of a road, (CA 127) which bypasses Interstate 15 between Baker California and Los Vegas NV. The road wanders through Pahrump Nevada, then on to Los Vegas. It is a 50-mile detour, but sometimes it’s shorter than waiting for the freeway (I-15), blocked by an all-to-frequent wreck to be cleared.

It is 100 miles (give or take a few miles) from Baker CA to Pahrump NV. There is only one populated place on the road, Shoshone, at the junction of CA 178 and 127. Shoshone is a gas station and a house. Otherwise, there is nothing.

I know there are hundreds of lonely roads throughout the west just like it, but this road is so close to 2 major metropolitan areas, that its loneliness and remoteness does not register in my thinking.

A late start for the drive to Vegas put us in Baker, CA after dark. A wreck on I-15 near Jean NV, with an expected 3-hour road closure, put us on the dark highway 127 shortcut.

We followed a large truck for 30 miles or so, and I became aware that the ONLY lights we could see were our headlights and the trucks tail lights; we had not passed or seen another car since we left Baker. There was no moon. It was ink-black outside the car.

Just about here-

http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&ie=UTF8&ll=35.72366,-116.29612&spn=0.1048,0.233459&t=p&z=12

I was intrigued by the lack of any man-made light. It was a bit odd, yet familiar, like a misplaced friend’s name. I had camped out many times earlier in my life, and I guess I always took the dark for granted. I really wanted to see the stars again!

I found a shallow turnout, pulled off the road and turned the car engine off, shut off the headlights and stepped out of the car. The interior light of the car made an island of light in the blackness. We closed our doors, and the darkness took over.

The stars above us were a dizzying swarm, the sky gloriously splashed with points of light from horizon to horizon. We both stood and gaped at the sight. Familiar constellations were so bright, yet so surrounded by other points of light, we could not recognize them immediately.

There was a problem.

If you looked away from the stars you could see nothing; not the car, not each other, the highway, nothing. The earth had gone away, only the stars remained. The feeling was disquieting, the sort of “crawly” you get when you think someone is talking about you or looking at you without your knowing.

Our eyes adjusted to the darkness, and we could begin to see the silhouette of the horizon. The lights of Los Vegas 100 miles away made the faintest of glows behind the mountains to the north and LA lights did the same in the south. The glow was so dim, we had to ask one another, “Do you see it too?” It was not comforting. The distance only reinforced the alone-ness of the place.

Afraid is much too strong a word for what we felt. “Discomforted” and “Ill at ease” come closer. Why did we feel that way? There is nothing to fear out there on that highway. The most dangerous being on the planet is mankind, and there were no people in speeding cars with guns, drinking, talking on cell phones and looking for a way to prove their manhood. So what could harm us?

Not wild animals- there are no Grizzly Bears, and a Mountain Lion would surely prefer the smaller and less chewy (probably) sheep down the road. Coyotes are too small to take me on, as well.

The only thing left is fear of the dark and unknown. An ancient inbred feeling that something we can’t see and identify is waiting to eat us, steal our children and send us all to the bottomless pit.

I imagined the night-fear in ancestors long since gone, the feeling of being watched. A time when the flame of a candle or a campfire would be the brightest man-made light on the planet.

I imagined trying to standing between the darkness and my loved ones, surrounded by dangers known and unknown. A wolf, a bear, an enemy, a dark creature of the night made of shadows, waiting to close in around you when the light was gone.

I heard a disembodied shadow nearby say “Can we go now?” and answered, “Yes, I’m ready”. The interior light of the car lit the area as I opened the door. I started the car and banished the surrounding darkness with headlights. All was familiar again. I could see that there was no reason to be fearful.

How fortunate we are to be able to banish our fears so easily.