How did I get here?

Rant 2 of 2

Power and glory are not even in the picture anymore. Now it’s figuring out how to talk to anyone under 50 without sounding like I just stepped out of an old black and white movie.

Suddenly, my kids and grand kids look at me as though I’m living in some sort of museum. (My phone still has a wire to the wall.) My ability to stay “hip” is gone (ZZ Top is still cool, right?) and that has been followed by many physical abilities, like hearing (He said shut up, not stand up!), eyesight (We must need a new TV, this one is getting fuzzy.), Waistline (Jane, are my pants zipped?), Memory (Jane, are my pants zipped?) and, of course, sex appeal (What do you mean it doesn’t matter if they’re zipped?).

Dignity slipped away somewhere in there as well, but I didn’t notice until the really good looking girl at the checkout counter offered to help me with my grocery cart. I heard her say to her friend as she walked away, “He seems like a nice old guy, but someone should tell him his pants are unzipped”.

Let this be a warning to you, my children. One of these days your post-teen son or daughter will look at you as though you had just stepped out of a Li’l Abner comic strip and say something like “Dad, PLEASE check your zipper”, or “Mom, that dress just might look better if you wore a bra.”

You too will hear these words, or word like them. When you do, I want you to pause and listen VERY carefully. If you listen well enough, you will hear me, your mother, 2 grandfathers, 2 grandmothers, and half a dozen more generations just like them laughing our asses off!

‘Nuff said. I do not intend on writing about this again- ever.

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful Wife
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?

Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...

Thanks to "The Talking Heads"- Evermore!

In The Day